I Looked for the Problem in You, But Found It in Me

What No One Tells You About Healthy Love.

Let’s talk about love. We all love to talk about it, right?

Because it’s where passion lives, where hope hides, where we place our biggest dreams and futures.

But love doesn’t always come the way we imagined it. Not in a bad way—just… in a deeper one.

We always hear about healthy love, soft love, love that feels like home.

But no one really talks about the other side of it.

Not the butterflies or the pink skies—

But the quiet nights where you meet the parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding for years. The wounds you forgot existed until someone safe enough came along.

Because for the first time… you’re not busy protecting yourself.

For the first time, you’re not watching for betrayal.

You’re not decoding mixed signals.

There’s no manipulation, no mind games.

Just someone who’s there.

Someone who says, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll love you quietly, steadily.”

And that’s when it hits you:

You don’t know how to receive that kind of love.

So you flinch.

You wait.

You search for the trick, for the catch, for the red flag—

I searched for it like I needed it to feel normal again.

I kept looking for your ghost—the version of you my pain expected.

But you weren’t him.

You never were.

And when I couldn’t find the ghost, I found myself.

I found the storm inside me—

All the insecurities, scenarios my mind created just to prepare for pain, the fears that weren’t even real.

Because healthy love doesn’t distract you from yourself— it brings you back to yourself.

It sits you down in front of your oldest wounds and says: “You’re safe now. You can look.”

And that’s when the real work begins.

Because suddenly, you’re not trying to survive love— you’re trying to receive it.

And that’s much harder than anyone admits.

And that’s the hardest part about healthy love— It doesn’t hurt you, it holds you.

But first… it shows you everything inside you that still needs healing.

And maybe that’s the kind of love we don’t talk about enough.

The love that doesn’t just feel good— It feels real.